having interesting conversations

We had a day filled with adventure in regards to our animals and loud thunderstorms. I spent the better part of the day chasing animals trying to escape and calming those who decided to stay indoors. After we calmed everyone down and the storms had passed the family decided to venture out to lunch. On our way out to eat Emily......in a meek voice........admitted that she had received a rather "racy" text from a boy she liked. First.....I have to give HUGE kudos to my girl for admitting (on her own) that someone made her feel uncomfortable.......which happened to be a boy she REALLY liked. Mike immediately put his hands over his ears and began chanting ...so he couldn't hear ... that Em is growing up. I listened to Emily's concerns and watched Mike at the same time, because I was plotting his penitence.

I took a deep breath and asked Emily........"just exactly what did this boy text you"
Mike: "You don't want to know!! (Now chanting louder) lalalala"
Me: "Why .........do YOU know?"
Mike: "Well I can guess"
Emily: " Mom ... you don't want to know"
Me: (In my mind) " Oh great.....even she knows I am Snow White"
Mike: Does this have anything to do with body parts?
Emily: ................mmmm yes
Mike: OH MY GOD ..... (covering ears again)
Me: (containing myself) Emily did it make you feel bad?
Emily: Yes
Me: then that is not acceptable. What did you say?
Emily: I said that "I am not okay with this. If you want that type of girl you should text someone else and basically told him I was very upset, but then he blamed his friend".
At this point Mike is seething and thinking about ripping ribs from a little boys abdomen. Finally after a bit more conversation Mike yells.
Mike: "I DIDN'T WANT THIS. I didn't give birth to a girl!!! I never wanted to beat little boys up!"
Me (calmly) : uh huh. You are paying for your sins!
Mike: (looking at Emily while lowering his head). Tell that little boy....would you talk to your mama like this??
Me: uh huh... (Mike shoots me a dirty look)
Me: So the text said..........???
Mike: LALALALALALA (Covering his ears)
Emily hands me her phone
Me: Looking at Emily's phone............( My mouth DROPS OPEN!!!)
Mike: Oh lord!!!! I am going to have to call someone's dad aren't I??
Me: "Really?? They think of this at 13??"
Mike: snickers quietly
Me: (Hits Mike)
Mike: what the hell did I do?
Me: You were born male!
Mike: well..........
Me: um well........EMILY, do you know what this means??
Emily: Kinda
Me: I am a very honest person and I will never lie to you. When you are old enough to make responsible decisions then you are welcome to have a healthy sex life with your husband
Mike: OOOOOOOOO MYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDD
Me: shhhh
Me: until that time any talk regarding the word "penis" or other issues okay to discuss with me, but not okay with little boys. You see from the time they are 13 until they are about (Looking at Mike)
Mike (lowering his head) 34
Me: "34.........that's all they think about. So you can let them know what type of girl you are. Is it okay to talk about stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable or is it not? A boy that treats you like this will never think of you more than an object"
Em: Yea that's what I figured
Me: this one is also young..........so maybe he deserves a harsh slap and a wake up call. However in the future remember that any boy that thinks of you as an object will always think of you that way. Any boy that doesn't treat you with respect and dignity ........never will. A boy knows when he loves you and when someone deserves to be treated like a lady.
Em: well let's just say I made sure he knew I was a LADY!
Me: good girl!
Mike: I just can't take it
Me: Really? Because you are so special
Mike: I am so special I poop sparkles and glitter with little kazoo's that go toot toot da doot
Me: I really don't know what to say to that.

So all in all it was a good day with a health conversation that my daughter will kill me if she knows I posted so let's not tell her. However, it's good for other parents to see everyone talks about this stuff. Also, a big kudo's to Em. This article came out today.
http://www.brandnewz.com/?p=11792