I would like to start today's blog out with a picture of my baby's natural mohawk. That's right, his hair is now so long that after his bath it stuck up like a rooster!
Although, I think a little mohawk would be cute on him, the boy needs a hair cut. I sent the picture to my husband who is adamant I am not cutting Jude's hair, and I did not receive a response.
So one of my best friends, and co-workers is pregnant. I have talked about her before, and how excited she is about her baby. Today she had her gender sonogram, and I found myself on pins and needles. Last night I literally sat in my bed praying that everything was ok. I didn't expect to get so nervous, about her sonogram, but I guess all the old feelings rushed back. I remember being like her, looking at names, and being so excited about my level 2 sonogram. Mike, and I went in with great expectations, only to be told something was wrong. No mother should go in to find out if she is having a girl or boy, and come out knowing something is wrong with the child they are carrying. So she texted me that she knew what they were having, but she won't tell me, and that she was waiting on the doctor to come in. Over an hour later I had not heard back from her, and I literally got very very nervous. I knew in my heart everything was fine, so I guess this was a reaction to my own prior emotions. Luckily, all was well, but the woman still won't tell me what she is having. I am just so thankful her baby looks happy and healthy!! Now I just need to know what she is having so I can buy her outfits.
So reflectively I looked back on a perfect sonogram picture I had prior to our gender sonogram, and before we knew anything was wrong. Little Jude on his tummy made me smile.
It's hard to describe to anyone the feelings of being told something is wrong with your baby. It's overwhelming. It's lasting. It's haunting.
Today Jude is trying out Gymboree again. I will take a lot of pictures, and we will see how he reacts with the other babies. I reminded Mike that he cannot look around envious of the other children that are "normal", but to look at Jude and what he is accomplishing.