I didn't sleep well last night. It was a year ago today that there were two entries made in my blog. The later one said, "Jude has taken a rapid decline," before I sped home to see his little face. I will never forget that drive home and holding him in my arms. It's a sad but precious memory. I was up way to late, I didn't sleep well when I did lay down, and I don't want to be at work today so please have patience with me. We know it's just a weekend we have to get through.
On a different note, I have been watching the Netflix series 13 Reasons. It's no secret that this show is based on a girl who committed suicide in high school and gives 13 reasons why she performed the act. I have been rather mesmerized with this series and honestly wish it had been available when I was in high school. The acting is superb and the direction of a regular TV show mixed with an outstanding play performance look is resonating. This is the first show that I have seen that exposes every aspect of the challenges facing teens today. From bullying, sexual assault, drugs, poor home lives, selfishness, self discovery, sexual preferences, loneliness, depression, athletic performance, and the stress of grades. It's also the first show I believe that doesn't glorify the suicide because they tell you how it really is. It's death and it's final and you are basically thrown in a body bag. I know it sounds like a depressing show and it's challenging to watch but if you have young children that will be moving into teens or a teen I highly recommend watching it to remember how difficult it is to navigate through that age. Emily is currently watching it and I am glad because I wish I had seen it at that age. I could see myself feeling like I wasn't alone and realizing that although life is hard people around you DO care. That you do get through high school and your situation DOES and WILL change.
I appreciate the little things people have done for our family this week. I notice the texts, the little gifts, and everyone changing their profiles to the remembrance candle on Facebook. It's strange because the efforts make me feel comforted but there is a part of me that just doesn't want to remember so I don't say much. Just know you are appreciated. I am going to turn my phone off Sunday so if I don't answer you know why. I also dropped the freaking thing in the bath last night because that's how life rolls lately and I can only hear you on speaker if you call me. You know you giggled. I mean it sucks but it's so my luck, lol. So I have no idea when someone is calling or texting until I actually look.
Thank you for caring.