Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Exhaustion

This is a venting blog.

I love Jude with all my heart..........I would do anything in the world for him, but I am exhausted. I have had a newborn for almost 6 years and I am tired! Jude was up and down all night last night, again.  It's a cycle of Jude waking up, having seizures because his brain is firing from waking up, almost vomiting or vomiting, then going back to sleep. I am so tired at night I fall asleep within minutes and don't spend any time with my husband. Then we get up and go to work then come home and do it again. I get sick a lot from lack of sleep but I have to keep trudging to work. There are days I just wish I would win enough money to miraculously pay off my house so I could SLEEP! The laundry just sits at times because I am just to tired to touch it. I also think the routine is wearing me out plus there are other factors that wake me up too. I know a lot of special needs moms feel this way and you know what? It's okay to say you are tired! I am not going to feel guilty about saying it because I love my son and will continue this routine. I just had to gripe for a few minutes. I literally laid in bed this morning and shed a few tears because I had to get up to go to work. Jude has sedation medication, but it only works for awhile and nursing isn't an option at night. So we keep moving forward. Just remember to forgive me if I am a little cranky this week.

We have another contractor coming over tonight to look at the bathroom and he is on the approved list. He is convinced he can get the job done for the same price as the lowest bid. I sure hope so! It is a light at the end of the tunnel. I also had the other company call back and explain their boss was a wounded veteran and he would help us anyway he can. So sweet. So Nice!

So I am praying that Jude is not getting sick again. I think he is just going through a growth spurt or some sort of cycle. He is very happy when I come home and hold him at night. I think it makes him feel secure. Okay my complaint fest is over and tomorrow I promise to be happier!  



2 comments:

Jessica Cook said...

My son is now 7 and has bilateral schizencephaly. Everything I read is our same story, the seizure med changes, lack of sleep, doctor visits, and possible dislocation of the hip. I share your exhaustion but thank you for keeping this blog up to date!!

Jessica Cook said...

My son is 7 and has bilateral schizencephaly. I completely sympathize with your problems because I feel we have a very similar story. Thank you for keeping this blog, it's good to know I'm not the only one dealing with seizures, doctor appointments, bad sleep and hip problems. :)