I have had a hard life.
A lot of emotion can be stirred by that tiny little sentence. We humans think in pictures and when you say something as harsh as the above statement our brains become a View master of possible scenario's. It's really not worth going into details because other parties do not need to be drug through it again. Let's just say I could be a poster child for a lot of different problems in America and what people shouldn't do! I was just a child and I got the brunt of it, but learning hard lessons at a young age can have a positive impact. I decided that God gives us two paths and it's up to us which one we choose he is just there to hold our hand. I didn't want to be the victim the rest of my life and blame everyone for what happened to me as a child. I was determined to make my life a success and to have a positive outcome. Overall my life has had it's up and downs, but I think I have done an okay job considering.
We can't always keep everything positive in our lives. Tragedy strikes when you least expect it and sometimes turmoil too. I think it's how you handle that tragedy and turmoil that defines you as a person. We all make mistakes when handling issues in our lives.........goodness knows I am at fault for that. However there comes a time that we have to realize that blaming others, escaping, or wallowing in our sorrow becomes old. I look back on what happened to my mom and I realize that it was so much easier for her to drink vs. face life itself. It's so much easier to blame others and wash away our problems vs. looking internally and figuring out what the real issue is. She has been a great teacher through her tragedy. I have learned to not make excuses for my behavior by blaming it on my past. I have to own what I am doing. However, one thing I have struggled with is accepting I cannot do anything about how others act or react. It's their life...........I cannot change them. It's so hard for me to accept that. I constantly tell Emily, "you cannot expect someone to react the same way you would in a situation because we are all different". Yet I cannot seem to learn that very same lesson.....maybe someday.
Next week we go into safe mode for Jude's surgery. He will be bathed with specific soap and we will keep him away from everyone we can to make sure he is germ free. He has his pre-op on 6/30 and then the surgery will be early on 7/1. I will post prior to then, but please keep Jude in your prayers on that day. Thank you!