I guess I wasn't done. A follow up to my earlier post.

I just wiped Jude down with his antigermicide special wipes. He was cold at first so I promised him I would put him in his pajamas shortly. He shivered as I ran the wipes all across him and I held back the tears. As I slipped the pajamas over him Jude started to giggle. I picked out his adorable green St Patrick's pajamas with the green clovers all over them and the phrase "Lucky Dude" on the front. Once I got him in his clothes I started his feed so I could get something in his tummy before I started his medications. Then I gave him his breathing treatment to open up his airways for the surgery.  They will do another breathing treatment prior to surgery.

I turned Jude to his side in case he threw up, I put his boppy under his legs to keep him positioned, his pillow behind his back to keep him from turning, and his special beiege pillow under his ankles to keep his legs in place. I snuggled his blanket around him and I said "Tomorrow they are going to put some medicine in you that will make your legs feel SO much better!!". Then I stopped and said "Jude mommy will be here tomorrow when you wake up. I will hug you so tight and say HI JUDE!" and he just smiled so big like he understood every single word!

This is the part of being Jude's parent that is super hard! It's not the sleepless nights, the diaper changes, or the tube feeds. It's subjecting Jude to procedures that you know will help him but initially cause him pain. It's like when I know he is developing pneumonia and no one will listen.

This part of being a mom is hard. Sometimes our babies go through hard times and we hate to see them hurt. From Emily crawling in my lap over a broken heart to Jude suffering after surgery. All you can do is hold them tight and love them the best we can. I am so lucky I have this little boy in my life. I am grateful for him.