Well it pretty much sucked ass getting up this morning and coming to this office which I call my second home. On the other hand what would I do at home? Sit around thinking, moping, or cleaning? I wouldn't be decorating this baby's room that's for sure. I closed the door on Friday and haven't been back in yet. Anyway, enough of the crappy sad stuff. I am actually pretty damn angry today vs sad. So let's get down to the nitty gritty. Here is what I have done today. This morning about 8am I left a message with my Ob's nurse. I told her that my findings on Friday at the MRI, that I was about to call the level 2 specialist, and will be trying to get in with a pediatric neurosurgeon asap. Mike and I talked for a long time this weekend and it was pretty intense. It was also re-assuring because at the beginning he didn't want to talk about a thing. He pretty much just wanted to be left alone and was very angry. Anyway, our talks ranged from understanding the fact that Jude may get much worse to realizing no one can give us a final answer. Also understanding that the brain works in mysterious ways and may indeed not have anymore trauma. So basically we realized these doctors don't really know what will happen either. So therefore, we decided to start approaching this with the attitude of "we are not terminating so why don't you tell me what you can do for our son". Just to see what they say and see if their attitudes shift. Now let me say that my OB has 100% stood behind the fact that she does NOT want to terminate a healthy child. She has been pushing the fact that Jude looks healthy on her systems but she admits she isn't the expert. Anyway, I just heard back from the Level 2 specialist. I go for a re-scan there Thursday at 3:45. So there is 1 appt down. I am sure my boss is going to love me this week....ha! K, will post more later.
Ps. The neurosurgeon's office called back and I had to explain several times to his office staff this is an emergency! She finally seemed to catch on. No I cannot wait 3 weeks for you to get me in. You need to put me on hold and go talk to the dctr. Sure enough that worked!
Here is an early sono of Jude on his belly:
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