Today was an emotional but restful day for us. Mike and I both left early from work and met up to talk and have lunch. We took Emily with us and let her know just how serious Jude's situation is and she truly understood. I think Mike and I just needed a day to process information without thinking about work at the same time.
When we came home Jude was having some issues again but was maintaining his oxygen levels which was an improvement. He even woke up at one point and looked at me and started smiling. He would try his hardest to mouth words to me and was so super sweet. He is very pale and very ill but he is trying his best.
Right before Jude took a decline I had found a house I absolutely loved. It wasn't cookie cutter, it was bright and open, and was exactly what I was looking for. However he got super sick and we just stopped everything. Today we actually discussed the house and it became eye opening. Mike said its important we keep moving forward with our lives and we move forward with Jude. He also said he believes this is giving us something else to focus on versus sitting on a couch watching, wondering, and waiting. That part of this life is absolutely killing us. So we will see what happens but it would be nice for us. Mike mentioned he wants to move with Jude because he wants Jude to always know where we are at. I just teared up when he said that but I completely understood what he was saying. Mike also said having something to work on will help him through this current situation.
Jude's a roller coaster but he is a huge fighter. We have had friends and family want to come see him and we have even considered giving him an early 7th birthday party. However I have had to explain to people that Jude looks and acts very sick right now. Seeing him can be very emotional for people and I just do not have it in me to help anyone right now. I believe everyone understands and everyone is doing their best to be supportive. My work is understanding, Mike's work is beyond understanding, our families are there if we need them, and many of my friends just show up with kind words. Mike's mom has been here the past two days and bless her heart she has had a hard time with this.
Mike and I switch off having meltdowns but for the most part we are both pretty calm. We know that Jude's situation can go from bad to worse and from worse to really good. It's just the nature of this lung disease.
Thanks for sticking with us and for all your prayers. At this moment Jude is on yellow and doing fairly well.