I have had an overwhelming sense of dread all day today. At one point I felt like I wanted to rush home to Jude because I just felt something was wrong. Rather than running out of the office in some crazy mommy panic I texted Charlotte and not so patiently waited on her reply. She assured me Jude was smiling and happy but he was running a fever again. She gave him some Motrin and this brought his fever back down. I have no idea what the temperature issues are. It's a guessing game with everyone when it comes to Jude and deciphering if he has an infection or if this is a new ongoing symptom. Regardless I have no idea why I am feeling the way I am today but it bothers me. I also keep smelling roses.............is that weird? Wait don't answer that. Oh goodness now I sound crazy but it's true. I don't know if it's a sign, angels, or maybe I have something neurological going on (insert laugh). I really think it's comforting so my guess is it's either my brain playing tricks on me or some type of comfort measure. It's never happened before but I will take it.
On another note do you remember the blog I wrote about being comfortable with myself? Yeah I saw a picture of myself last night and wanted to crawl in a hole. That blog went out the window, lol! I have accepted I cannot do much in the way of hard work outs with Jude. I am exhausted and I have little time. However I did order some fresh healthy meals for work and I am going to try to work out each day on lunch at the rec center. This combined with walking the dog should at least get me back to being comfortable again. All this starts on Monday. I have decided not to be to hard on myself if I miss a day. I realize my situation is very different from most peoples and therefore I don't think it's reasonable to hold myself to a certain standard. So maybe that's emotional progress? Anyway, the rec center by my work agreed to allow me to sign up under a resident status again so that's great news.
We have had HORRIBLE weather lately in Texas. Right now it's raining so hard that many people are once again facing flash floods. Emily is currently driving home from school in it and it makes me very nervous. I am biting my nails until she texts me she is home. I am just one big bundle of worry nerves today aren't I? I need a bubble bath!