Since Jude was awake the nurses had to change out his IV because the other one began leaking a bit. However Jude really didn't complain much except for the tape pulling his hair on his arms.
Later in the day Jude got tired very easily and he began to flutter his eyes. He also spiked a fever again so the nurse turned down the a/c, rolled back his blankets, and administered some Motrin. His temp decreased a bit but he still had a fever and suddenly he began gasping for air. Jude was really struggling to breathe although his oxygen level stayed fairly consistent. Here is a video of what Jude was dealing with.
After a breathing treatment, medication, and repostioning we finally got his breathing somewhat controlled. My good friend that has been here with every illness said, "I don't think I have ever seen him this sick before". It breaks my heart but it's true. Jude's tiny little body is growing so weak but he is such a fighter. Tonight I stroked Jude's hair and looked into his eyes and told him how much I loved him. A big smile spread across his face under his oxygen mask and he looked directly at me. He knew exactly what I was telling him. The nurse and charge nurse came back in and the charge nurse told us how bad Jude's lungs sound. We are still holding out hope that this X ray will come back improved and keep in mind that Jude is still on a regular floor and has NOT gone back to PICU.
The hardest part of this is worrying about my job on top of Jude being sick. My boss is understanding but it doesn't change the fact that he needs his small office covered. I am blessed beyond measure because I have friends/family that have stepped forward to sit with Jude from 10-6 each day. That means I cannot put a full days work in but I can get 5-6 hours in. Honestly I want to just drop my world. I want to not care about anything but Jude but by caring for Jude I have to focus on my job too. Again I am so incredibly lucky that I have people that will step forward and sit with him. Now..........if I could only pay off my house...........I wouldn't have to call in favors! lol! I think I need to mark buying lotto tickets on my calendar.
The past few days I have walked through this hospital and watched the families that inhabit it. I have memorized the color of the bands on people's arms. I wonder what their children are here for and if they have any experience with traumatic circumstances. I offer them a reassuring smile and I wonder if they will walk the hallways tomorrow or if they will be released. I always wish they will be released and never have to return. I see families in the cafe, kneeling in the waiting rooms, or occupying the chapel. Yesterday I walked into the chapel hoping to light a candle for Jude but they didn't have anything to light. So I walked to the alter and swallowed hard as I saw "request for prayers". They make them public so people can pray and I swallowed hard when I read a few. I wrote in the book that I requested prayers for Jude's healing but most of all our entire family prayed for those that families weren't used to illness. I prayed for their strength, their endurance, and their understanding of the situation they were in. Then I turned and walked away and at the door I paused........I looked back....and I felt at peace. I really felt a overwhelming amount of peace. So I took a deep breath and walked into the hall and found my way back to our room. I tucked Jude in tight and kissed him gently on his forehead and knew that no matter what everything would be exactly the way it should be.
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