Friday, February 12, 2010

Snow, standers, and tears

Well if I thought the light dusting on my car that I posted yesterday was a lot of snow, I had no idea what a lot of snow was! Probably still don't, but nine inches is more snow than I have ever seen!!

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Bigsby searching for a place to do his business. This is before the snow accumulated so much we would just sink, and we couldn't see him.
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We put Jude in his new stander last night, that Our House loaned us. I must get Jocalyn their loaner stander back to them. Anyway, he was alright at first until Mike cranked the lever to stand Jude upright. That he didn't like much. We didn't leave him in there for long, because we didn't want the stander to be associated with an unpleasant experience.

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So last night Mike and I were watching Home makeover again. He was really interested in this one because it was set in Hawaii, and he loves Hawaii. He has promised to take me there someday, and I hope that can happen. We were chatting about how we had these big plans to go, but we have had to delay that goal. It's not that big of a deal because we want the best for Jude, and to get financially stable again. The big thing that got me was at the end of the show, and I have no idea why. It was one of those things that affects you, and you didn't expect it to. They showed the couples baby girls room, and it was a beautiful pink with big hibiscus on the wall. Mike said "Wow, that is gorgeous". I said "Yep if we had a little girl I would want something like that". He just replied "We cannot have any more kids", and tears streamed down my face instantly. It was just something that happened, and I couldn't control it. Mike started tearing up, and came over and hugged me telling me not to cry. I am not sure WHY I responded that way. Our plan was to have one more baby after Jude, but I have accepted we cannot, WE both have. If our house was paid off then maybe, but it's not so we both accepted it wouldn't happen. Plus, who knows how my health would have been through another one. Plus would I WANT to go through that again?? I guess I just still held out hope somewhere that we would try for a little girl, but I knew we couldn't. Anyway, I quickly recovered, it was just an odd reaction to something I already knew.

I am listening to what sounds like someone stuck in the snow in our parking lot, so I have to go check things out. Have a good day!


Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for you, Jenn. I hate that you feel you cannot have another baby if you intended to have one. Life just isn't fair sometimes.

Maybe there will come a day when you can revist the idea? Never say never.

I too struggle with the idea of another baby. Who knows what the future holds.

Amy Hendrix

PS, Parker would like to send Valentines hugs & kisses to Jude!

Barbara said...

I bet Jude's therapists would help you set up Jude in the stander. Or give you some tips for helping him adjust to it.

That is a LOT of snow!

Katy said...

Charlie learned to love his stander, but we had to distract him a LOT in the beginning. We would play music and dance all around him--I've got videos of our silliness on Youtube.

Candace said...

I know that is a painful thing to deal with and to admit, Jen. It used to disturb me to, but time did a lot to heal that, for me. BTW Faith had that exact same stander as her first one! She hated it too, I have to say.