Hello Blogland!
Since my battle with Coronavirus I have not ventured out of my house on a regular basis. I am actually quite blessed that I have been able to work from home and I have found that I really like it. I was in an office setting for so many years that when we were sent home to isolate I went into panic mode. Seriously, like I drove my family nuts, lol. I wasn't sure how working from home would impact my business and when you work in sales with commission the thought of losing business can be very stressful. This week is actually the first week I have had a significant drop in quotes to do. So if you need insurance please let me know. Overall I am not scared to go back out into the public but I don't want to fight Coronavirus again. Twice is enough for me and I have educated myself enough on the subject to know that historically other coronaviruses have a history of infecting the same people. I am assuming because they are more susceptible. However I am attempting to get out a bit more and test the waters. I take precautions and so does my family because they watched me suffer.
Emily and I ventured out this weekend and after having a good discussion with my cousin I thought I would share my Saturday experience. I think we talk a lot in America about the need to acknowledge mental illness but we are afraid to share our own challenges. So despite what you may think about me after you read this I am going to share mine. Maybe it will help someone else open up and let people know that it's okay to not always be okay. I have blogged before that in 2001 Emily and I were in a horrific car crash. We were traveling down Grapevine Hwy and I slowed to allow a car to turn in front of me. A young man driving 65 mph hit me with such force it sent my SUV spinning and then flipping. We flipped into a large commercial light pole and took the entire pole over. We were hanging upside down in the vehicle until rescuers got us out. I was injured but thankfully Emily was fine snuggled in her car seat. Less then three weeks later 9/11 hit and BOOM this month leaves Jenn with the worst PTSD! I had a terrible fear of driving and riding in a car after that accident. I saw a therapist and luckily he did finally help me begin to drive normally again but after Jude died the issue came back. The therapist said the trauma of losing him just agitated old issues. I was beginning to get a bit better but then Covid hit and I found that not having to drive relieved a mountain of stress I didn't realize I was carrying. The problem is now that I haven't driven in so long I have the tendency to have terrible panic attacks in the car. I was driving Emily to Grapevine to my office and then on to Southlake Saturday and I had to pull over just to catch my breath. Things that make me panic are two lane roads (377), congested areas, and highways. So for me if I have to pick going out somewhere that may end in a huge panic attack I would rather just stay home. It's just not fun for me to go through that to get to some place to try to have fun. So if you think I am ignoring you, I am not. So back to therapy I go again soon.
Overall the rest of life is going pretty well. We have a rather surprising situation that we are working with right now that I will write more about when we learn more about what will be happening. In closing we celebrated Jude's 12th birthday on 9/2. Mike took balloons and flowers by the cemetery and left them for a week. We still feel him with us everyday making an impact and we thank him for preparing us for isolation. This was the life we led with Jude on a daily basis.
