A Display Sign Of Sickness

Anyone on my social media knows I have been battling an illness since July and I have now been plagued with pneumonia.  I wouldn't say I used to get annoyed with people that were sick or their posts but I would wonder why they just couldn't be positive. I used to be sure that those particular people who were constantly experiencing an illness or tragedy had to have their own negative underlying force propelling their situation. It seems karma took a big flat flyswatter and smacked me in the head with it teaching me humility and empathy. I cannot explain how irritated I am with resting in my bed because I am such a person on the go. Yet again this weekend I will be spending the majority of my time resting and trying to get better. Ironically all this came on after I started working out again. I had a friend joke that I should just get rid of the sage in my office and all things healthy and try the complete unhealthy route. We had a giggle over his comments. 

The consideration came up that maybe I was letting the grief over Jude control my life and my health. I don't think this is the case. I have no doubt that it has had a profound effect especially because Mike and I didn't sleep for more than 7 years. In fact, the doctor recently told Mike (who is ill too) that Jude's situation ravaged our bodies, but we wouldn't have changed anything. I believe that although grief effects us we also grow from it and learn to live again. We had a choice to give up or keep marching and out of a promise to Jude we kept marching. My aunt sent me this article yesterday and I think it perfectly describes our personal feelings regarding grief and it's lasting effects. 


 https://themighty.com/2018/12/ball-box-analogy-grief/?fbclid=IwAR0uAPKI7L38tOnb-tPfXxmek_RJ-DZ53r-fCplspw_1JKEcf0WCViRj4_s


I am ready to get better though I can tell you that! I am looking forward to being healthy and take a weekend trip away with my husband somewhere! All those out there dealing with daily illness situations, you have my complete and total respect.