Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Miss You Jude

So one would think our lives are getting a bit better but it's not really. We thought we were moving in a forward direction but suddenly this week is extremely difficult. We are angry, irritated, snapping at each other, and it's just overall rather crappy. I think we have reached the point that when someone asks "how are you doing......you doing okay?" that we could angrily respond "My kid died......no!". It's not their fault because they just mean well but let's just say that might not be the best question to throw our direction. I think it may be that it's just a reminder to us and we are trying to be normal. We still are trying to keep ourselves busy because that seems to help the most. We have been working diligently on the Emily's Smile box day that's coming up in September and the Pediatric Stroke 5k. So that helps. The good thing is we have each other and we are thankful for that every single day! 

I think when the house sells and we are able to focus on a move that will also create a big distraction. The good news is that Jude's book is moving forward. We are excited and will have more news on it soon. 

I miss Jude. I miss walking in the house and seeing his little face and kissing his big cheeks. I miss him being a baby and holding him close. I cherish the memories though and that I have them with me everyday. 

Part of grief is getting back to a routine. We have done that but it still takes time to start processing life in a normal fashion. We are getting there. 

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