Jude is just sick or is he better? I am so confused!!!

I look back at my teenage years and I wonder why I waisted my time and not furthered my education. I would have proudly have become a nurse or a doctor, but I didn't take the necessary steps to fulfill that career. However, somehow I got thrust into that field. I sometimes think about pursuing a medical career and then I have nights like tonight. I am confused. I want to think Jude is getting better, but it doesn't seem like it tonight, but then again it does. I am so confused that I couldn't tie my own shoes right now!

When I got home Jude was asleep on his futon which is unusual at 6:30. He slept until about 8 and he woke up very "spastic". Spastic means he is having a type mini seizure type activity. He body is just "spastic". I held him for about thirty minutes while he fought with this issue. This is not unusual for Jude and fairly the norm when he wakes up, but it was a bit excessive. I held Jude while we watched the Big C and I tried to get him to smile for me. Occasionally he would flicker a tiny grin at me, but he wasn't his normal self.

I began to feel Jude heating up. The back of his neck was hot and then his forehead started to heat up so I took his temp. 99.7, 99.9, 100. ....sigh... low but still. Days of antibiotic but the fever has crept back. I know the doctor said if Motrin can control the fever than Jude shouldn't be in any immediate danger, but my mind began to wonder if this is normal or if there is something else going on. So we took Jude to his bed to get him ready for bed. I hooked up his feed to his tummy so he would get some substance prior to all his medications.

Mike started his breathing treatment now laced with more abuterol while I gave him his medications. I noted the below.

Fever - axillary 100 (add a point)
Color - he looked pale (bad)
Smile - slight smile so that's good
Toenails - blue...very blue...but cold. Is this a temp issue or oxygen?
Fingernails - pinkish (good)
Noted Jude trying to pull the mask off his face during breathing treatment (this is good)
Cough - bad.........actually worse I would say (bad)
Breath sounds - Diminished on the lower left side, but mid level seemed better. (real bad but good) 

Wait........suddenly Jude threw up. Sigh. Throw up equals aspiration. He keeps throwing up since he was diagnosed. We sprung into action with towels and suction.

So is Jude getting better, worse, the same? I have no idea. We are watching him closely. I have no idea how doctor's deal with their best educated guess on a daily basis. They have my admiration.

On top of being concerned Jude's little "Seizure cat" is very flustered tonight which makes me wonder if he can feel something I can't or if they little piece of fur just wants outside.