College and Life

At the end of this month we are taking Emily to visit the University of Arkansas, she received an acceptance letter from them. Then in February her dad is taking her to the University of Alabama. Emily is still waiting to hear from a few other schools but Emily was accepted as a freshmen into the college of nursing at the University of Alabama. She will ultimately make the decision and she is going to announce it live on Facebook in March. However being accepted into a nursing school as a freshmen is a huge accomplishment. I am not sure another college can trump that offer but I am holding out hope A&M has something for her. I would like her close to home but I also understand that an opportunity like what she has just received does not come along very often. I think my heart is already grieving a little more because I cannot imagine her vibrant soul not being around everyday. She just recently spent a week with her dad and our house was very quiet and not as lively as it normally is. I am very proud of her but at the same time I know this isn't going to be easy. 

As mothers we spend our whole lives raising our children to the best of our ability. I always told myself I wasn't raising a child but raising an adult. I wanted Emily and Jude to be responsible adults who worked hard and that are kind to others. I figure we do a really good job of being a parent if we keep our children safe and get them through childhood safe, healthy, and educated. Unfortunately with Jude I had no choice but to see another side to life too. The side that just kept your child fed, comforted, and loved. Education was therapy for Jude to help him function the best he could versus expanding his knowledge and GPA. His feedings were never about taste or entertainment it was merely survival and his health was always compromised. Although I don't miss the hospitals I do miss sitting with Jude. I would pat on him while we watched Maui Real Estate together and waited on the doctors to trickle in and out of his room. I think it's the quiet moments we had alone that I miss more than anything. 

Yesterday was a hard day for several people. I noticed Jude's nurse posted on social media that she was really missing Jude yesterday. My aunt texted that night and basically said the same thing. I told her in one of my groups I saw the best reply to the question, "How are you doing?" The gentlemen said he replied, "I am grieving okay today." I told my aunt that it's a good response from everyone that was surrounded by Jude's light and love. 

So both my children will be physically gone from my house soon. It's something I am struggling with but how proud am I that my child wants to be a nurse? Emily has decided to compete one more time for a teen title, but with a different system, so we are planning that together. I think it will be one nice last event for us before her official adulthood starts. I hear my grandmother in my voice when I tell Emily to cherish every second because it goes so fast.