Emily, The Great Fall, and Life.

Great news on Emily, well most of it anyway. Her biopsy did show inflammation in her thyroid but no cancer! Also her MRI was clean. So Emily was officially diagnosed with Hashimoto's and they seemed to have have found a good medication for her so she is finally feeling better. She spent her Spring Break seeing multiple doctors but since she is feeling better it was all worth it. 

So because my life always seems to be chaotic last Saturday the 9th wasn't any different. I had spent the day cleaning outside and was very tired so I went in the house to take a shower. Mike had been shampooing the carpets in our bedroom and I didn't think about the fact it would leave residue on my feet. I have a very deep tub/shower combo and when I went to step into the tub I fell. My foot slipped and I remember thinking I would catch myself and I didn't. My body twisted sending my left leg up under the glass and I landed on my right ear/head. I felt shooting pain and just began screaming for Mike. He came to my aid and I don't think either one of us really understood how bad the fall was or how much worse it could have been. Over the next few hours and days my leg began turning lovely shades, my ear was bleeding, and my head was pounding. I assumed I would be fine but my friends and family got to listen to me whine a lot (A WHOLE LOT). So about a week later my boss made me go to get a concussion workup and when the urgent care saw my leg they sent me to the ER side. Sure enough yours truly waited an entire week and had a closed head injury, don't do that! Take it from me and get checked out. The point of this drawn out story about my clumsiness is that when I fell and Mike pulled me out of the tub I just sat on the bed and cried. I just broke. Maybe it was finally needed. I just cried and cried and cried. I said, WHY do things keep happening to us? Then I got up and saw a tree had fallen over on my chicken coop fence and I shook my head and walked off. 

Here is the thing, I could have died from the fall or had a compound fracture but I didn't. Emily's biopsy could have been must worse and Mike's chest pain could have been a heart attack. The coop fence can be fixed and all the other complete bull%%$@ we deal with never ever compares to losing Jude. So it's all fixable. However, for the first time I just said NO MORE. It was like a declaration to the universe that nothing else needed to happen to us. I know I cannot control this but I just felt I needed to let God and the Universe know that I couldn't take anymore. So from that moment forward I just started believing nothing else was going to happen and that I needed to distance myself from any type of negative news for awhile. So I am respectfully asking people to let me heal for awhile from everything that's happened and let me have a bit of a break. Spare me from sad news or tragedies unless it's vital. 

I have been spending more time outside walking our dogs, spending time with my good friends at wine nights, and watching lots of movies. So I am taking what steps I need to so I can decompress and recover from a rough ten years. Last night I sat and went through Jude's book from his funeral, it's something I needed to do. I don't remember a lot from his funeral and it was comforting seeing all the names of old friends and new friends that made their way to tell him goodbye. 

So it's been a joke that 2019 has started off absolutely terrible but I am declaring this the year of  a return to health and a positive state of mind.